A Light Of Hope
by Lost In The Lies
Summary: I just wanted her to be Sam again, my Sam," --- Songfic Candle Sick and Tired - The White Tie Affair


**A Light Of Hope**

**Candle (Sick and Tired) - The White Tie Affair**

* * *

Everything was chaos, everybody running every which way, trying to get out, to get away. I couldn't see anything, and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Freddie, what's going on?" Carly suddenly ran up to me and grabbed my arm as I reached the parking lot. I could see her bus in the distant, it having arrived back at exactly the wrong time from the field trip.

"Rodney, Carly, Rip off Rodney, he has a gun," I somehow managed to get out and Carly's eyes widened at my words.

"Where's Sam?" Carly asked her grip on my arm tightening, her voice urgent. My face paled.

"He just walked into the hall, the gun in hand...he shot...everybody was running, and pushing, everything a blur," How I was able to talk coherently was unknown, but my words were begging Carly for forgiveness.

"Where is Sam Freddie?" Carly repeated her question as the police began to arrive.

"I don't know! Everybody was running, I lost her Carly, I tried to grab her, but I couldn't, I..." I felt my cheeks dampen and knew I had begun to cry.

Carly stood stock still, her eyes flashing between me and the school. Then, suddenly, she took off running towards the school.

"Carly!" I yelled and took off after her, but she was faster and managed to slip by the police and into the school while I was caught and held back.

"Carly!" I yelled once more, falling to my knees as the tears fell harder.

_**I took a ride on a February morning**_

_**Just getting over it and dealing with the mourning**_

_**I started thinking out loud:**_

_**I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired**_

It was three hours before they came out.

I starred at the stretcher that was carried out. All that was visible was a mess of blond curls that were no doubt Sam's – and they were drenched in blood.

Relief washed over me as I saw Sam sit up. It was the tears that made me realize that it was not her blood she was covered in.

It was Carly's.

_**My baby's flying off the edge of the road**_

_**She's saying, "I'm so sorry about that note,"**_

_**That left me all alone**_

_**But I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired**_

I stumbled back, shaking my head. It couldn't be true, it wasn't possible. Carly could not be dead.

I slid down the tree behind me until I sat and put my head in my hands, blocking out everything that was around me. It couldn't be true.

"I'm sorry," I looked up to see Wanda White from my advanced science class. She left which made me realize that everybody had left, and I was all alone.

_**Somebody turn the lights on**_

_**Somebody tell me what's wrong**_

_**I'd be lying if I told you**_

_**Losing you was something I could handle**_

People slowly walked away from the gravesite as the funeral finished. I walked forward, placing my hand upon the headstone.

She had been my first true friend, and I had brought myself to believe I loved her because of that. But she was my best friend, and I didn't know how I would be able to live without her.

_**Somebody turn the light on**_

_**Somebody tell me how long**_

_**All this darkness will surround you**_

_**Cause I'm burning for you**_

_**Burning like a candle**_

I looked over at Sam, the only one left besides me. She just stood there, looking as though she too were dead.

I slowly walked over to her and stopped in front of her. She didn't move, didn't even seem to see me.

I raised my hand to touch her, but hesitated. It was as though something was blocking me from touching her, like the emptiness that could plainly be seen inside her. Like a darkness seemed to surround her.

I sighed before walking away, stopping to look back. I'd once made myself believe it was Carly that I'd love, but I eventually realized that it wasn't her but something close to her. Like the blond devil that was always at her side.

And maybe that was the reason Carly was no longer among us.

_**Seven days since I've seen your face**_

_**Seven nights I have laid to waist**_

_**I'm burning out now**_

_**I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired**_

It had been seven days since the school shooting and I was yet to return to school. I had only once left my home to go to Carly's funeral, otherwise staying locked in my room, curled into a ball on my bed.

My room was a mess and my mother hadn't even commented. She knew how upset I was and she would soon make me return to school, there was no doubt in my mind about that.

But I didn't know if I ever wanted to leave. What reason did I have? I felt not a single reason to continue on living in the life I now held.

_**I know we're hanging at the end of the road**_

_**We've flown too high, make a swarm too low**_

_**I heard a screaming out loud**_

_**I heard a screaming out loud**_

Eventually I was forced back to school, and it was nothing as it had been before. Everybody seemed in a sort of trance, as though they were living in a sort of dream, as neither could they believe what had happened.

Sam was at school too, and she was the same as all the rest, and actually going to classes, which meant things were at their worst.

There was a memorial of sort on Carly's locker while Rodney's (who I later discovered had killed himself after Carly) was extremely vandalized, a fact no teacher seemed to mind.

I passed Sam in the hallway and reached out to her, but she shied away. I watched as she entered the bathroom, then the sobbing began.

_**Somebody turn the lights on**_

_**Somebody tell me what's wrong**_

_**I'd be lying if I told you**_

_**Losing you was something I could handle**_

_**Somebody turn the lights on**_

_**Somebody tell me how long**_

_**All this darkness will surround you**_

_**Cause I'm burning for you**_

_**Burning like a candle**_

I sat down against the locker underneath Carly's as I listened to Sam sob, the bathroom being right beside it.

I looked up at Sam as she exited her face untraceable of any tears. She looked down at me with empty eyes, and I stood up, reaching out to her once more.

"Sam," I said my voice hoarse from little use. She turned away and quickly walked in the other direction, her shoulders hunched.

I left school.

_**Think,**_

_**All the things that you say**_

_**What are the things that you mean**_

_**What are the things that you say to me**_

_**Cause you're tragedy**_

_**A queen for his majesty**_

_**All this blasphemy**_

_**Your kingdom is crumbling**_

_**You're a tragedy**_

_**A queen for his majesty**_

_**All this blasphemy**_

_**Your kingdom is crumbling**_

Sam and I got into a fight in front of the school today. It was me, who started it, but the way she's been, I wasn't really expecting her to fight back, but I was ecstatic when she did. Maybe there is some of her left in there after all.

"Show some life!" Is what I said, finally having enough. I even grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.

"What reason do I have?" Was her response, and I don't even remember where it went from there, but it was long.

I just wanted her to be Sam again, my Sam, and that argument was the closest I'd come. And, maybe if she'd become her old self again, the rest of the school wouldn't be so...dead.

It was like they were all ghosts. I know all the teachers and parents were worried, nothing was the same.

Everything was slowly falling apart.

_**Somebody turn the lights on**_

_**Somebody tell me what's wrong**_

_**I'd be lying if I told you**_

_**Losing you was something I could handle**_

"Nothing's the same without you Carly," I muttered as I kneeled in front of Carly's grave, tears in my eyes.

"I don't know how life can go on; you wouldn't recognize Sam if you saw her, and the school is like a ghost," I continued as the tears dropped into my hands.

"What am I going to do?"

_**Somebody turn the light on**_

_**Somebody tell me how long**_

_**All this darkness with surround you**_

_**I'm burning for you**_

_**Burning like a candle**_

I looked at the pictures I'd taped to my wall of iCarly. In particular I looked at one of just Sam and I. Sam sat on top of me, and though normally in such situation I'd look angry, I had a small smile on my face, while Sam just look satisfied.

I starred at that picture, wanting it to be like that again, or something similar, for without Carly, it could never be exactly the same.

I sat down in my computer desk chair and sagged. I know this is bad, but I'm glad that it was Carly who died and not Sam if one of them had to. I hate myself for thinking such thoughts.

I look at the pictures once more one caught my eye in particular. I looked at a picture from Christmas, of Carly holding a candle.

_**Burning for you**_

_**Burning like a candle**_

_**Burning for you**_

_**Burning like a candle**_

Sam kneeled on the floor, her arms wrapped around herself, her blond curls covering her tear ridden face.

Sam looked up as I walked towards her, a candle burning in my hand. I kneeled before her and tucked some hair behind her ears as I held the candle within my other hand.

Sam looked at me, tears clinging to her eyelashes, as she gave me the smallest of smiles possible, the candle a light of hope in the darkness.

* * *

**A/N - Before you comment, I know it seems a bit different than the song. I came up with this before I ever saw the music video, and when I saw the music video....well. I still like my idea, and I think it does fit with the song, even if it isn't the idea of the song.**

**Also, I know I'm mean to Carly! I mean, in Over You I made her the bad guy, and now I killed her....No, I don't hate her! She just.....some how ends up getting the bad end of the stick. This idea wasn't originally for them - it was for an original, with these twins, this girl twin brother gets killed when going in to save her, basically similiar, Carly plays the brother, Sam the sister, and Freddie is the boy's best friend who likes the sister. But it would have made me write a whole bunch more to get the background...and I'm lazy. **

**Word Count: 1 662, or 1 325 without the lyrics**


End file.
